A typical day in the life (alternate title: Why some days require copious amounts of alcohol)

1. Drop glasses, scratch both lenses.
2. Wear glasses with large scratch directly in front of left pupil for a few days until can carve out time to drive to ophthalmologist.
3. Drive to ophthalmologist and marvel at good fortune that replacement lenses are actually covered by insurance (WHAT?!?)!!
4. Wear glasses with large scratch directly in front of left pupil until ophthalmologist calls to say new lenses have arrived.
5. Wear glasses with large scratch directly in front of left pupil until can carve out time to pick up new lenses.
6. Drop glasses at beginning of workout on treadmill.
7. After workout put on glasses and puzzle at the fact that vision is all of a sudden extremely blurry.
8. Clean lenses and discover that right lens has fallen out and is missing.
9. Wear glasses with large scratch directly in front of left pupil and right lens missing until can carve out time to pick up new lenses.
10. Drive at the speed of light to get to ophthalmologist before they close for lunch.
11. Stare blankly at ophthalmologist receptionist when she tells you they need the scratched missing lens for insurance to cover the replacement.
12. Curse at the top of your lungs for several minutes in your car in the school parking lot across from the ophthalmologist's office.
13. Drive home and locate missing lens UNDER the treadmill.
14. Drive back to ophthalmologist and get new, beautiful, scratch free lenses (angels sing hallelujah).
15. Once home and wearing brand new scratch free lenses, discover that although you can now see your computer screen, the internet connection is dropping every 5 minutes.
16. Go to store and buy 12 pack.
17. Decide FSA be damned and research LASIK. Ponder what could possibly go wrong with that and decide to glue glasses to face (see #16).

The end.